CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES(turn and face the strange)
I'm in a really weird headspace at the moment, so I thought writing about it might clear my head - there's only one way to find out! It's just going to be a flow of thoughts so I don't know if it's actually going to go anywhere.
I'm on the cusp of my A level exams. I'm excited for uni but i'm scared for exams. I'm excited for my exams to be over, but i'm scared I won't enjoy my course, or i'm too strange to form bonds with new people, or i'll fall out with my friends. I'll be leaving the little village I grew up in. The place I took my first steps. I'm only moving 45 minutes away, but i'm scared. I'm scared I won't even get to move those 45 minutes away, and the more I think about that the worse I do in relation to studying and the less likely it is I'll get there. Then, I think about that, and think about how that's also affecting me. I'm a big overthinker.
Even little changes scare me, I've been growing out my hair for the past 3 years to have enough to donate to the Little Princess Trust, however now i'm debating donating it to Clean Wave - and don't get me started on the debate between animal lives and children's self esteem. I'm literally feeling sentimental about my hair, because the dyed blonde ends are two years old and I feel sad about losing them. But then again, I have this whole new look to look foward to, and it's going to feel so freeing to lop off 7-8 inches of hair! Sad for change, excited for change.
On an even smaller level, I grieved over finishing the 100 year old man (a stunning read!) because it was such a good book, I was sad, but excited about starting the next book.
I think this is just who I am at this point, but I don't know how to stop myself getting distracted by all these oncoming changes. I can't wait until summer, but i'm dreading it. I'm not ready, but I am SO READY!I was looking through my old year book the other day, and my quote was from C.S. Lewis, it said "There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.".I think I took that quote from a cool picture of it on Google Images under "inspirational quotes" or something, so odds are it's a quote from someone with really cool handwriting who may not be C.S. Lewis. I haven't even read C.S. Lewis' books so maybe if 16 year old me wasn't such a fake fan I'd know. Tangent aside, I think i've got to be hopeful that there are better things ahead, regardless of how well my A levels go (although they need to go well and I need to keep trying very very hard but also taking breaks and understanding that sometimes your brain just doesn't want to work today and that's fine too!) .
I think in overthinking change i'm resisting it because i'm questioning it, and if there's one thing i've learned from Skins it's if you don't grow up life screws you over. If you resist the tide you'll get swept away. I just have to try not to overthink the prospect of getting swept away, embrace the tide and pick a path. What am I even saying at this point?
I don't know.
I'm scared, and excited and i'm feeling a lot of feelings.
Maybe future me will find this and go "aww, it turns out okay past Shannon, and regardless of how you think it will go, one way or another it will turn out okay."
Thanks for reading
- Shay - Also I've entered the BBC Young Writer's competition so wish me luck with that! And I've written up some notes for a review of Ready Player One (the book) as I just finished it and I have a lot of opinions!-Read more..
This is sort of an open letter to Carrie Hope Fletcher, who sort of inspired me to blog - for anyone who read my old account, "A Positive Polly's Guide To Happiness"(sort of lame name) was inspired by her work and the attitude she presents to her audience. I've been following her work since I was around 14.
But, back to the story of my day...
All you need to know for context in regards to my day was I got to play D&D, and I felt happier than usual- I was having a good hair day, and I had done my makeup in a way that made me feel like I looked good.
I hadn't played D&D since december, so i was pretty excited. I was with friends, playing the best game ever, and was listening to a livestream of Carrie with one headphone in - my friend Lotte had the other. We weren't really listening, trying to wait until it got to our envelopes.-For further context, I had donated to a fundraiser she had been doing throughout January, I had waited until the 31st to donate. There was a prize draw for the fundraiser for anyone who donated over £5, I didn't expect to win anything, but I couldn't let go of that little glimmer of hope. I'm glad I didn't.-
It was just when we were discovered by three bosses- unbelievably powerful mages, when I heard it. "Shannon Plant". My name. I looked at Lotte, who I didn't realise was trying to capture the moment on her phone. I expect our DM was confused by my reaction of looking at Lotte and saying "That's my name!" although he was very happy for me I'm sure. I think I was more excited to hear my name said by her than the prize itself, which probably makes me sound like an excitable tween, and to be fair I am excitable. All I have to do is see a cat, even a picture of a cat and I'm happy. Although, to be fair I get the same thrill from hearing my name if it’s called at the end of year ceremony my sixth form does.
For the record, I wouldn't say I put Carrie on a pedestal exactly. I appreciate and enjoy her content, and I think i’m just excited to see new things that she’s made or done because of that. Because I like what she’s done already, as opposed to because it was created by her. This is a tangent. In case you were curious, we won the boss battle, we killed two mages and one ran away.The point of this open letter was to say thanks and possibly ask a question really, although I doubt I will get a response- Which is perfectly understandable. I totally appreciate if this letter is even read, let alone if it’s read and the question answered. I’m going to be contacted by Carrie via twitter most likely, and will attach a link to this blog below my address to read if she wants- as opposed to forcing her to read it by putting it in with my address in the DM. I had the pleasure of seeing The Addams Family in Wimbledon- WITH LOTTE! We are both fans of your work! We made a hopeful scrapbook- which I expect you were unable to keep due to the volume of gifts you received on tour. However, I hope that you got the time to read it and that it made you smile, if it did that, we did something right. I guess we kind of want to know what became of it, however again due to the volume of letters you get I totally understand if this isn’t read let alone responded to. Also, bonus question: How do you decide which of your ideas are good? I get a lot of bad writing ideas that I think are REALLY good to begin with but in hindsight aren’t so much. Particularly if the concept is good, but I have nowhere to go with it.
Basically, I was trying to say in my own tangent-y way that you made a good day better- plus I saw two foxes on the drive home from D&D, I’ve had an unbelievably good day!I feel it’s my responsibility to Zach the DM to tell you (as he asked me to, and he’s a good mate) that he wants to have your brother’s next child. I’m sorry if that’s an incredibly strange concept but he’s a very good DM - and a very good pal.Lotte (my bestie, who’s been mentioned a bunch here - pronounced like “Lottie”, in case you’re interested, although I probably should have said that at the beginning as personally it annoys me when I read things wrong for a really long way through a book, for example Liesel Meminger UGH) is an aspiring author with a brilliant imagination who says that she finds inspiration in your writing and hopes that she, also, will be able to get published and be as successful as you (Although “successful” I admit is a bit of a vague and subjective term, I couldn’t think of a better one.)
I also thought to add that Lotte and I are a little inspired by your use of vlogs to keep up with each other- Lotte and I exchange letters a lot, but are thinking about vlogging for each other when/if I go off to uni because I think it’s a nice thing to have to look back on as we continue to grow as people (if that makes sense).Also i’ve started using the words “lush” and “babe” a lot and I think it’s your influence, I don’t hate it though, it’s just strange to pick up on those things. (To be fair I think watching gavin and stacey had a part to play in it too ;) ).final connective, funnily enough the reason I donated £15 was FOR A BACKPACK as my current backpack is falling apart from having carried knitting (knitting needles are pointy, if you need to carry them in a bag i recommend sticking a cork on the end or something). I still refuse to throw it away as it has cats on it that look like my cats. I have a hoarding problem. I think that’s all, sorry for the tangents, I hope i’m not boring! I hope this gets a read, if not, I quite enjoyed writing it anyway. To conclude: Today was a good day- It would have been regardless of winning something, however that happened to make a good day better. I feel very lucky (although I shouldn’t be surprised as a sagittarius born in the year of the rabbit!). So, again, not to sound really repetitive, I had a good day. Shame the rats and evil mages in my D&D game can’t say the same, but that’s just the way it is. The end.
Tl;dr: I had a good day, D&D, won a backpack, appreciate Carrie, Lotte is my friend, thanks.
I'd like to begin by stating that I am in no way qualified to look at this in a professional way. This is just how I viewed the musical and my thoughts (which nobody really cares about and I will acknowledge that).
So, recently (on the day of writing this) I watched The Addams Family in Wimbledon Theatre as a kind of break from studying. In short: it was brilliant.
However, I'm still a bit conflicted on how I feel about some aspects of it because there's one thing that kind of bugged me about it. Therefore, I thought I'd weite a review to organise my thoughts a bit. So, here we go...
Now, the negative thing that kinda bugged me is this, I'm starting with it to get it out the way as it has a LOT of good things, however this seemed like a bit of a big thing to me personally.
It began with Wednesday being very close fiancé which happened throughout, which, for someone who isn't invested in the relationship can be a bit odd (like when you see a couple snogging in public) . Wednesday and Lucas are very different people so it would be SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING if we saw more about how their relationship began, which would also have meant we'd as an audience be more invested in them as a coulpe - especially as this version of Wednesday is a lot more feeling than the Wednesday in the films for example, so a transition from cold and unfeeling to almost human would be nice!
As I said, there are loads of redeeming factors and I cannot just say bad things!!
I loved Uncle Fester's commentry throughout, and that he tried to indirectly affect the plot. His character was just great and he was hilarious.
Gomez had an amazing voice and a larger than life character which I loved, I could've literally fallen in love with him (sorry Will). Basically, he was brilliant. His relationship with Morticia is definitely #goals, and if it isn't, I don't know what is.
Another great thing about this, and this is quite an important one to me, was the ancestors interractions with the cast. A good example of this is the man with the grapes teasing Lucas' mum in the background (twice) which made it almost like a running joke. But also, not only is it like a small, funny detail but it was funny without being obnoxious and they didn't even need to say anything. I think that's a testiment to how good it was, really.
There was also a moment in the show early on where Wednesday shoots a bird, I thought that might be a nice little reference to The Addams Family Values when Wednesday shoots down an American bald eagle to which someone says "but I thought they were extinct" to which Wednesday replies "They are now."- if that reference was somehow accidental I think I kinda love it anyway because it shows that the musical is very accurate to the characters as they have been previously portrayed, obviously with a little extra because the problems they face in the show give them a bit more depth (in my opinion).
The actors were great, the songs were great, the outfits were amazing and really fit the characters! Although, the one problem I have is a bit of a big one for me personally because I spent half of the musical like "Wednesday deserves better why should I care about this guy?".
Also, possible spoilers? Don't read on if you'd like to watch it without knowing anything...
There was a part in the musical when Lucas was redeemed (in terms of how I viewed his character) when he trusts Wednesday enough to shoot an apple off his head. However, I still think it'd be so much better if we learned more about Wednesday's history with Lucas- dropping us into the story with the Addams Family is fine as we all know them from the show or films, but as Lucas was new in the begining of the story I didn't care about him, if anything I didn't like him as I cared about Wednesday's character. For that reason I'm still conflicted overall, however I think the good parts do ultimately outweigh that (Gomez, call me).
Again, nobody cares about this but I feel like overall I'm a lot less conflicted as it waa great, really.Read more..
Is my title edgy enough? Do I have your attention? Okay, well at least I have Lotte's attention (hi, Lotte!).
Basically, the context here is I had nothing to do when a powercut happened. I was on Skype and the call shut down so I messaged the person I was on call with on facebook with "Shay's Log of Darkness". Weird? Yes, but I was very bored.What follows is "Shay's Log of Darkness". Judge away, I just thought I ought to try to be funny in a bad situation. Also I was home alone so I was super bored..:
We had a power cut, it was terrifying cause my light flashed after and I guess you'll get this when the power's back but dang that was scary. Apocalypses tend to start with power cuts though so by the time this sends we could both be dead.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 1: I keep trying to switch lights on and saying "dammit" when they don't work. I have 100% battery and a torch at least. I looked outside and I can only see people's Christmas lights on the street but they might just have really good curtains.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 2: I went to the ammeter thingy and tried switching the master switch for all circuits on and off again, it didn't work. I fear all hope is lost.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 3: I tried lighting tealight candles to save torch battery. They're dim as frick, don't get them.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 4: I found a garden candle that is brighter than my future thank goodness.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 5: i'm on to two candles now, and i've just found two more but i'm gonna save 'em. I'll eat crisps by candlelight for dinner. My biggest regret is not quicksaving Skyrim before everything went black.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 6: What if there are candle riots? What if the lights never come back on? What if zombies come for me? I left a light switched on so I can see when the power is back, if it comes back.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 7: I think the rule of whether something is a snack food or not should be "Could I eat a cake made of this? These crisps are definitely cake material.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 8: It's definitely affected the whole street; I can see torchlight from the house opposite. I'm tempted to just go to bed and hope it's over come morning but i'm sad we never got to say goodnight, or indeed goodbye if this is an apocalypse kinda deal.
Shay's Log of Darkness entry 9: Sounds like someone's setting off fireworks; not sure how to tell them that's not really a sustainable light source. At least they're leading the zombies away from me.
The power came on and I basically had a heart attack.[You're welcome for that bit of dialogue from my power cut experience.]
Hi guys, pals, strangers, followers and the like...
If you read my old blogs, you'll know me as JokersHarley- I was a bit of a DC fangirl (who am I kidding, I still am)- and you may have noticed that all of the posts from that blog except a goodbye message have been deleted. Bit melodramatic, really...
I guess the point is I'm back! Back to being narcissistic and portentous writing about myself and trying to be entertaining and relatable- if you think about it, nothing has changed except my username!
I'm mostly doing this for Lotte - Hi Lotte! - for our "Don't Get Me Started" rant series- it's gonna be great! Or boring, but either way hopefully it'll be fun. I guess that's all this ever really was, and hopefully it will continue to be.
I'll probably also be blogging random thoughts and such in the future, I'll just try to avoid making them emo and cringey.
So, onto the topic at hand: where I've been and what I've done. Well,
I did my GCSEs, they went fine, bit draining doing exams all day but they're over now! (Until my AS exams...)
The summer was great, I was in a musical! I did a bunch of shows and got to run around a stage dancing and singing, so basically what I normally do but on a stage with 60 other people and in front of an audience as opposed to in the coach park with Lotte jamming to S club 7... I also did NCS which was a super fun four weeks and twenty hours of my life gone so that universities and employers are more likely to... Like me? AND on top of those two I volunteered to help with the Summer Reading Challenge and I cannot express in words how shameful it is to be caught taking ugly selfies on your friend's phone by a small child and their parents or carers...
I've also already dropped one A level so I'm down from 4 to 3 which is a great start...
So, I've said quite a lot about myself already at this point and am progressively using more and more ellipsises... Ellipsisi?... Ellipsis'?Basically, I've used too many of those dot dot dot things that I don't know the plural of... Is it just ellipsis? Like sheep and sheep? I'm a little sheepish to make any assumptions regarding the plural of elipsis and at this point I can't be bothered to google it so I'll just give up with this joke. I'm also guessing by this point I'm being really annoying so now is probably a good time to say goodbye, so, goodbye!
Until next blog,
Ps, I googled it, it's ellipses.Read more..